(Television) 2006 MTV Video Music Awards

I haven't seen a music video on MTV in quite some time. I believe the last time this phenomenon occured was sometime in May at 4:30 am. It saw "Kick Push" by Lupe Fiasco. I think if you're in the mood for a good music video nowadays, you have to set your alarm to some equally ludicrous hour of the morning. Of course, there's always TRL, but that show has more or less become an outlet for all the Top 40 nonsense that billion dollar record labels can throw at you. A few weeks back, when MTV announced the nominations for the awards, I laughed quite heartily. Having Shakira and Panic at the Disco sharing a nomination for the top honors at the show was nothing short of humorous, but thus is the current state of MTV and, in turn, pop culture.

That being said, the only thing good about the awards this year was that MTV decided against having the show in Miami for the third year in a row. Returning to Radio City Music Hall was a much needed return to sanity for pretty much everyone. That's about it though. Jack Black was surprisingly dull, though not as dull as Jack White, who was so drastically numb that Black's joke regarding their names was completely wasted. Way to play along, ass! Possibly the funniest moment of the night was Sarah Silverman, even though her minute-long act was so toned down for censors that it didn't even come off as hysterical as it should have. Then you have the Jackass clowns persistently bag-tagging one another, because everyone knows that if you can't be funny, you can at least fake funny by hitting a man in his privates! Oh, how fresh!

The award for most unnecessary presenter of the evening goes to Pink who just had to sing "Mr. President, did you not get enough attention as a kid?" OH SNAP!! Did she really go there? That is so aweseome!!!! It just goes to show, if you can't make decent music, you can always make music that bashes the president, and stupid people will eat it up like it's the hottest crap to ever flow from a human's mouth (enter Pink, Eminem, Green Day, Madonna, Rolling Stones, etc.). The coolest performance of the night goes to OK Go with a spot-on rendition of their video for "Here we go again." Honestly, I wouldn't have a problem with these guys being the saviors of pop music. They seem to have what it takes to break away from stereotypes and label confines, until of course the flood of copycats comes in. The Raconteurs, by the way, were an excellent house band, and the idea of a house band should be carried out in future shows.

By far, the greatest moment of the night is when "Sixx," an unknown audience member rushed the stage and stole the microphone from Jennifer Lopez. Unplanned and classic, Six is, as Jack Black said, "the new Soy Bomb."

The Awards:

Best Moment:
Sixx Rushing the Stage

Most Unnecessary Moment:
Axl Rose, existing.

Best Presenter:
K.G. as a Black Eyed Pea

Worst Presenter:
Pink

Best Performance:
OK Go

Worst Performance:
Missy Elliot, sorry Missy.

Most Deserving Winner:
Chamillionaire, Best Rap Video...H-Town!!

Least Deserving Winner:
Beyonce, Best R&B Video. I don't care how you spin it, "Check On It" is not R&B.

Funniest Moment:
Sarah Silverman

Least Funny Moment:
Al Gore, preaching about global warming