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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Where has all the good girl pop gone?

Is there really such a thing as "good" girl pop? Likely no, but at least there has been decent girl pop. Lumped into the category of suckie girl pop are what I like to refer to as the trifecta -- actors turned musicians, jealous family members turned musicians, and spoiled rich brats turned musicians. Trust me... there is a wealth of options to create a play list tonight.

To expound a little more on what I mean by "suckie" pop, I'll give a few examples. First off, we have Lindsay Lohan. Cute child actor, mediocre adult actor and absolutely terrible musician. In her case, it's not all about the music necessarily, but about what's behind all the sound, particularly lyrics. I can remember the first time my ears heard, "Rumors". I felt very peeved at the content of the "wah wah boo hoo" song about people talking crap about her. She's a stank chick who can't lay off the sauce and is plastered all over TV while literally being plastered. I can't think of any reason why that wouldn't cause people to discuss Ms. Lohan. Or what about Hillary Duff? Super cute as Lizzie McGuire... I loved that show well into my early 20's. She was adorable and the show was wholesome, yet amusing. Then she had to go and make a record... Did it sell like hotcakes? I don't have the figures, but if memory serves me correct, it did; doesn't say much for those so called music lovers out there. Again, music not too terrible for pop, but lyrics very cheesy and Disney-like which would've been okay purely marketed on Radio Disney, but if you're going to show her on MTV or play her on a local pop station, please give me more than pure fluff. I could go on all day about Jennifer Love Hewitt and how much her music blew, but alas, I must not rant so much that people leave.

On to jealous family members... Ashlee Simpson comes to mind. Is she better than her big sis Jessica? Um, worlds better, but again, that's not saying much considering that Jessica's fan base was nowhere near what it was before she began the taping of MTV's "The Newlyweds". So while Ashlee's music was never ear poison, it doesn't rank on the top female pop singers... at all. In fact, I think Kidd Craddock (a morning show radio host) said it best when he asked Kelly Clarkson if "bad sound problems" could explain this... to which he played a clip of Ashlee Simpson's performance at a bowl game where she sang "La La" and completely boofed it up (that's right - the performance where she got booed). Pure torture to listen to some of her music, though not altogether the worst female pop singer.

That leaves us with the spoiled brat syndrome category in which we get artists like Paris Hilton. Can she sing? Absolutely not, but it didn't stop her from turning out a few $$$ to make the album. It's likely that while laying out by the pool in one of her million dollar mansions, she got bored and thought, "I think I'll make an album... which features me... that'll be hot". Not too hard to imagine is it? I don't think so. I do believe though that it was an album that Cale gave a well deserved low rating to. It's artists, nay, humans like her that make people want to ban the genre forever.

Don't get me wrong now... there are plenty of terrible female pop singers and songs that didn't make it into these categories, but bear in mind, the crap is out there. The following play list is only a sample, a mere morsel of the complete jokes that are out there in the way of girl pop. Please listen to the following "sounds" as a means to spur some critical thinking and not for enjoyment... if you enjoy any of the following "sounds", please be sure to leave a comment and let me know. I'll be interested to see.


kmoe said...

I love the rants, keep them coming.

Maybe throw in a retro review every once in a while..

Cale said...

Hey, I saw Ashlee Simpson live and left after 3 songs. At least with Jessica, I'd stick around for 5 or 6.

Anonymous said...

Would you stick around because you like her music though? Or is it because of her looks?

Cale said...

I'd stick around because it wouldn't be as bad. I like Ashlee's looks better (sans baby bump). But Jessica isn't nearly as ridiculous!

Erin said...

That's the plan KMOE... thanks for reading!