(Games) Wii?

I don't think there's enough that can be said about my love for Nintendo. When I was 5 or 6 I got my first NES system and just tore the hell out of it. This was followed a few years later with my Super Nintendo and its predecessor, the Nintendo 64. In fact, the only non-Nintendo systems I have owned have been my Xboxs and my PSP. I love Nintendo and the franchises it represents, Mario, Mario Party, Super Smash Bros., and more of these titles come to mind. However, if you wanted to argue about who lost the console wars in the current generation of games, well it's undoubtedly be the GameCube. It's a powerful system, and anyone that has played Resident Evil 4 knows exactly what it's capable of. Unfortunately, Nintendo took a notoriously "kiddie" route with that system and, as a result, killed any chances of American domination.

Then comes the Revolution, the console I've been looking forward to for months even though virtually no information has been released on it. The controller is just amazing, it looks sleek and cool (unlike the GameCube), and it has major third party support. I am really excited aboutu this system. Already games like "Red Steel" have been announced, and I just see Nintendo realizing their mistakes with the last system and making significant changes in the upcoming generation.

Uhh....well, not exactly.

Nintendo dropped this bomb today:

Introducing... Wii.

As in "we."

While the code-name Revolution expressed our direction, Wii represents the answer. Wii will break down that wall that seperates videogame players from everybody else. Wii will put people more in touch with their games... and each other. But you're probably asking: What does the name mean?

Wii sounds like "we," which emphasizes the console is for everyone. Wii can easily be remembered by people around the world, no matter what language they speak. No confusion. No need to abbreviate. Just Wii.

Wii has a distinctive "ii" spelling that symbolizes both the unique controllers and the image of people playing it. And Wii, as a name and a console, brings something revolutionary to the world of videogames that sets it apart from the crowd.

So that's Wii. But now Nintendo needs you. Because it's really not about you or me. It's about Wii. And together, Wii will change everything.

Seriously? That's how you wanna play it? Wii? Honestly? How did that board meeting go down?

"Revolution is a great name for our console. It really captures what we want to do in the next generation."

"No. Revolution is too gay. We need something that will stand out."

"Really? I thought Revolution was a cool, sleek name for our system."

"No. It's totally gay. We need something that will capture the essence of our console."

"And Revolution doesn't cut it? I think that it's the best word in the English language to describe our system."

"EXACTLY!! We need to create our own word that everyone will understand! Something that really speaks to everyone!"

"Uhhh....that's crazy talk."

"We're gonna call it 'Wii'"

"We?"

"No....Wii. W-I-I."

"But Revolution is a great name that is cool and modern. It separates us from our kiddie image."

"No. It's Wii. We are naming our console Wii."

Honestly, I can't fathom a siuation where everyone agreed on this name. This is the worst name in the history of consoles. It's worse than neo-geo. It's worse than "Sega Master System," it's even worse than GameCube's codename "Dolphin!" Hell, I know what a Dolphin is! I can relate to a Dolphin! Wii? Come on!

So as Nintendo digs itself into that hole, I am left with a huge dilemna. Do I ignore this system that I've been craving for nearly a year? Or do I become the only adult on the block with a Wii? A Wii....dangit! I just can't see myself owning something called a Wii?

"Hey, do you wanna come over and play with my Wii?"

"You Pervert!"

What a mess! Listen to me Nintendo (I know you read my blog). It's not too late to go back to your code name "Revolution" at least until you figure out something that's less gay and *gulp* less kiddie. E3 is still a week and a half away. Just clear the website.

Pretend it never happened. When E3 comes, just laugh it off as a late April Fools joke. Please, do it for Wii....err.....me. Thanks.

--Cale