(Movies) Ice Age: The Meltdown

Movies nowadays are big. "Spiderman," "Lord of the Rings," and "The Matrix" are all phenomenal examples of big movies being really really good. But do you know what else was big? "Hulk." Do you know what was not good? "Hulk." Likewise, "Ice Age 2" is a really big movie that is flat out N.O.T. G.O.O.D.

There's so many things wrong with this movie that it's hard to find a good place to start my criticism. First off, the animation is lackluster at best. When we see huge chunks of iceberg fall from the sky, it doesn't look like ice. There is no powder trail and barely any change in its shape or form when it slams into the earth. It literally looks like a shard of glass falling from the sky and remaining whole as it strikes the ground. Though I am in no way an animator (unless anatomically correct stick figures count), I would be willing to bet that a little powder trail here and there wouldn't bee too extreme of a request.

In Ice Age 2, each of the main characters have some sort of challenge to overcome before the movie closes. According to my calculation, there are 5 main characters in this movie that are forced (note the deliberate use of that word) to solve their problems before its 90 minutes are up. As a result, it's no surprise that we don't really care about these supposed struggles and really don't have a chance to focus on one before another is shoved in our faces. In addition to this, the characters are dull and lifeless with hardly any convincing motivation or emotions. When the movie tries to be touching, it rarely succeeds, opting rather for unnecessary moments that are sure to bore the adult audience and confuse the young audience.

This brings me to my next point. "Ice Age: The Meltdown" is a movie that can't decdide what audience it wants to cater to. At times it seems unbearably kiddie, but when jokes are constantly dealing with mature subject matter like disease, extinction, and death, once can't help but wonder whether these jokes are necessary and what, if any, audience they were directed to. From the experience in my theater, on one seemed to enjoy these blunders of writing. Now that I think about it, "Ice Age 2" is essentially one big writing blunder. The dialogue is cheesy and predictable, the jokes are too often crude and less often humorous, and the unnecessary (yet obligatory) song in the middle of the movie just shows you how bad this movie really is.

The original "Ice Age" was tolerable. Though not the most memorable computer animated film of all time, it was not the worst (remember "Antz"?). "Ice Age: The Meltdown" is the worst full-length feature computer-animated film I've ever seen. It is a studio's attempt to milk a typically bone-dry movie season for all it is worth and, from the looks of it, they have succeeded. If anything can be said about this movie, it is that it feels forced. The dialogue is forced, the motivations are forced, the animation appears to have been forced, and everything about this movie screams "Leave the theatre while you still can!!" (Oddly enough, a fire alarm went off during my viewing...but I returned, not taking the opportunity.)

I do not recommend this movie to anyone. Not parents. Not kids. No one.

Directing: 1 out of 5 Stars
Writing: 1 out of 5 Stars
Acting: 2 out of 5 Stars
Overall: 1 out of 5 Stars