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Friday, July 13, 2007

Top 5 Worst Musical Trends

The music industry is a constantly evolving business. What's hot today, may be tomorrow's joke. So before you tease your hair or rush out and buy some ankle warmers, just think about how you'll reflect upon this moment 5 years from now. That's kinda what this week's Top 5 is about. What are the Top 5 worst musical trends of all time? Read and find out!

#5: Grunge Rock - Grunge rock originated in the late 80s and early 90s and died out a few years later. Catapulted to the forefront of mainstream rock, due in large part to Nirvana, grunge was the new metal. Overnight, kids were wearing flannel sweaters around their waists and refusing to shower all in the name of rock n roll. Yet while all this was going on, the music itself was almost unbearingly drab. Now, any nobody could throw together 4-bars of power chords, sing like a jackass, and make millions of dollars. Like most musical trends, it began with someone doing something that was unique and ended with lots of copycats and bored fans. The flannel business will never be the same.

#4: Hair Metal - In many ways, grunge rock originated out of rebellion to what was then the norm for rock music; hair metal. The 80s definitely had its share of terrible music trends, but this despicable genre pretty much owns them all. Bands like Guns N Roses were not too terrible, and in many cases were actually talented. The real travesty of hair metal was the musicians themselves, as people. If the "Sex, Drugs, and Rock N Roll" thing holds up, hair metal was 95% drugs and sex, 5% rock n roll. Everything about the trend was fueld by the desire to "get chicks." You had your completely ludicrous hair, your junk-flattering spandex or leather, and perhaps most importantly, your completely out of place ballad in the vein of Mr. Big's "To Be With You." There's nothing wrong with getting women as a result of your musical prowess, but when your music and style is entirely formulated for that purpose, you're just a tool.

#3: Post Tupac/Biggie Hip Hop - After the death of the 1990s most prolific rappers, the hip hop community was left in shambles. Hip hop began as a real, raw form of music; a way to express the struggles way of life in urban America. By the turn of the century, hip hop was the exact opposite. No longer is hip hop about what you don't have, it's about what you do or would like to have. It's no longer considered appropriate to rap about things that are real. Shiny things; that's what folks rap about now. Whether it's the chain on your neck, the rims on your wheels, your vehicle, or even your teeth; if it's shiny it's fair game. Case in point, 50 Cent has been shot nine times, but you're more likely to hear him rap about being in the club than that. Hip hop is no longer about the struggles of life, it's about it's excesses. Eminem kept it real for a while, but hasn't really put out an authentic album in years. True hip-hop is hard to find these day, so you're better off listening to the old stuff.

#2: Pop Punk - I've referenced it a lot on this site, but I can't repeat myself enough. Pop punk music is the single worst genre of my generation! I suppose it really started with bands like Green Day, but the explosion of untalented boy rock bands didn't really come into full force until Blink 182 started selling millions upon millions of albums. A year later you had crap like Sum 41 and Avril Lavigne flooding the airwaves like a plague. It's still around today in bits and pieces, but it's clear that a lot of these bands are trying to change their sound to distance themselves from yesterday's coolness (Yellowcard anyone?). The important thing to remember is that if you ever bought into any of this, you're entirely to blame and I hate you. Seriously.

#1: Disco - It's tough for me to make any deep commentary on Disco, as it is the only one of these trends that occurred before I was born. But from what I've seen, and from what I've heard, Disco is the worst thing to ever happen to the mainstream music industry. It was abnoxious, it was loud, it was annoying, and thanks to a few disco acts, it was vaguely homosexual. The fact that I couldn't go to a junior high dance growing up without hearing "Y.M.C.A." at least twice was enough to deter me from ever delving too deep into the genre. Unfortunately, it was not enough to deter me from dancing to it. As long as there is no photographic evidence to prove it, I should be in the clear.


Anonymous said...

i think i remember you liking relient k. w/e

Anonymous said...

i think i remember you liking relient k. w/e.

Cale said...

Dang, you're right. Well, I am entirely to blame and I hate myself.