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Friday, May 09, 2008

Top 5 Albums I'm Not Ashamed to Own (But Probably Should Be)

If you flip through your CDs, or scroll through the albums in your iPod, you're likely to find at least one album that only you get.  Your friends diss it, the reviews for it are less than generous, and if anybody finds out that you actually own it - much less enjoy it - you're probably due for a good water-boarding or three.  These aren't guilty pleasures, just pleasures free of any guilt that probably should be associated with them.  You like these albums for no good reason, and to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise.  Yeah.  Here are my Top 5.

#5:  Sixpence None the Richer: Divine Discontent - Hey, remember "Kiss Me?"  That song is not on this album.  Nope, this one is filled with a bunch of songs you've probably never heard of (and a really fantastic cover of "Don't Dream It's Over."  When it released in 2002, Divine Discontent was considered a disappointment, as it's predecessor went platinum, and the best this one could do was make #9 on the Christian charts.  But don't count it out.  It's filled with absolutely amazing songs like, "Breathe Your Name," "Tension is a Passing Note," and "Still Burning."  There aren't a lot of bad songs on this one, and if you still find yourself singing along to "Kiss Me" every time it's played on your local mix station, you owe it to yourself to at least give this one a chance.  At the very least, it blows Leigh Nash's solo album out of the water and makes me very excited for the possible Sixpence reunion in the near future.

#4: Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics - I got this in High School, being a big South Park fan (still am), and totally fell in love with it.  Some may say, "Well Cale, you're well into your 20s now, and need to put that behind you," to which I always respond with a jubilant playing of "Swiss Colony Beef Log" as sung by young Eric Cartman.  You see, the bottom line is that Matt Stone and Trey Parker are kind of like geniuses.  With cojones.  Any yahoo off the street can write a christmas song.  It takes a real man to write a song called "Christmastime In Hell" or "The Most Offensive Song Ever," which chronicles an angel's conversation with the Virgin Mary, reassuring her that she can perform as much oral sex as she wants and still be a virgin.  Mmm.  Yep, you can't beat that.

#3:  Justin Timberlake: Justified - I can't even remember the name of Justin's most-recent album, and I don't care enough about it to even bother looking it up (it had 'sex' in it, right?).  Bottom line - I didn't care for it at all.  But his debut solo album, Justified, is possibly one of the best mainstream pop/R&B albums of the last decade.  Under the wing of Timbaland and Pharrell Williams, Justin was able to make an album that just keeps on giving.  "Senorita," "Like I Love You," "Cry Me A River," and "Rock Your Body" were just the singles.  Everything else on here ain't half bad either.  Of course, if you were one of the millions of people who bought this album, you already know that.

#2:  Finger Eleven: Tip - It's a weird thing hearing Finger Eleven's new songs on the radio every time I happen to turn it on.  The band has done well for themselves, considering their meager beginnings as the Rainbow Butt Monkeys (that was literally their name - I have that album too, but I'm totally ashamed of it).  By all accounts, especially my own, their best work came before they ever got their first song played on American radio.  Tip was released in 1997, and it is an absolutely amazing rock album from start to finish!  Scott Anderson has always had this unbelievable ability to write passionate and infecting vocal melodies that you can't help but sing along with, and his lyrics have always been a little deeper than his contemporaries.  That doesn't necessarily ring true on their new song, "Paralyzer," but it's true.  If you find yourself liking their last two albums, I highly suggest that you check out the first two.  Tip and Greyest of Blue Skies are masterpieces of alternative rock.  For realsies.

#1:  *NSYNC: No Strings Attached - If there was ever one album that could ruin any credibility that I have as a music blogger, this one has to be it!  The first time that I heard this album I was in high school, forced to listen to it by two girls who happened to be in complete control of the stereo of the car we were riding in.  I objected, I squealed, I pleaded, but they just kept on playing it and singing to it.  I don't know how I actually got around to liking it, but it must've been around the time "It's Gonna Be Me" came out.  That song is badass.  Add in "Bye Bye Bye," "Digital Get Down," and "It Makes Me Ill" and you've got yourself an album of unparalleled awesomeness (or gaiety...I can't decide).  I know that this probably seem like a joke, but it totally isn't.  In the liner notes of Justified, justin writes a thank you to his band-mates.  
Chris, JC, Joey, and Lance - It makes me proud to be your friend and watch you shine in all of your endeavors.  I can't wait for the new *NSYNC album
Yeah, I can't wait either asshole.  So quit with your "Hey, I'm like Michael Jackson from the 80s" routine and put some stuff together.  JC can only make so many terrible albums before we stop caring.  And we do care.  Well....I do.


Anonymous said...

this list is wack

but i commend you on your boldness.

i sometimes enjoy linkins park hybrid theory but no one needs to know about that shit, you are a brave man.

Erin said...

That's pretty much my favorite top 5 ever. However, I only own two of those albums... but I never listen to them. I'm surprised you do. However, yesterday I was listening to Creed's "My Own Prison" and had the same feelings about that album, so I get it.