The Top 5 Retro Reviews I Want to See

As a general rule, AT&T's DSL internet service sucks. I know this because I am plagued by slow connections and (as South Park noted this week) that damned blinking orange light. Erin, who writes out Retro Reviews here on Audio Overflow, also has AT&T internet. So when the time came for her to post her Retro Review yesterday, wouldn't you know it, her internet started to suck it up. But rather than make an entire post explaining why her review isn't up yet, I've decided to make this week's Top 5 Friday related to the issue at hand. That way, I not only get to explain the absence of said review, but I get a totally sweet introduction paragraph out of it! So the following list is a list of Retro Reviews that I want to see written on Audio Overflow. Keep in mind, this isn't an upcoming schedule, or orders for Erin to follow, just a list.

#5: Atom & His Package: Redefining Music - An odd choice, yes, but one that I think would be humorous to see Erin tackle. For the uninitiated, Atom & His Package is a now defunct one-man, synth punk band. It's all fairly humorous music, with songs that are either silly, funny, or on serious subject matters - but all of it is actually pretty decent. Take, for example, the song "If You Own the Washington Redskins, You're a Cock," which is about racism in sports team names like the Braves, Indians, or Redskins. Atom makes some good points, noting that if we're going to allow that, we might as well have the "Carolina Negros" and the "New York Kikes." Ouch! I'd totally love to see this one get reviewed.

#4: Nirvana: Bleach - Bleach was Nirvana's first album, released on the indie label, Sub Pop. As such, only the really die hard fans have heard it. I'm not one of those people. I happen to find Nirvana severely overrated, and I think people often overlook the technical flaws of the band and focus more on the commercial and cultural impact that the band had on music. I'd like to see a review that focuses on the band's music prior to their big breakout! Is it as good as their other stuff? Is it good at all without the nostalgia factor added in? These are questions that should be answered, mostly because I've never heard it myself.

#3: Michael Jackson: Thriller - The 25th anniversary edition of this album was released a few months ago, which probably would've been a perfect time to review it. Still, I'm interested to see how the best selling albums of all time hold up today. There are some definite hits that will probably never die; like "Thriller," "Beat It," or "Billie Jean." But was this an album that thrived on it's singles, or one that deserves the above-mentioned title? Is there anything to this one besides those three songs? Does it even matter? A retro review on this one would be awesome.

#2: Creed: Human Clay - Creed was the shiz. No doubt about it! I remember being in high school when the song "What If" came out and everybody was all over it. My sister's boyfriend was totally in a band that performed this song at the school talent show. It was awful, and at the time I thought to myself that it didn't do the original justice. About a decade later, I can safely say that the original didn't even do itself justice. Creed sucks soooo hard! How did we ever enjoy this crap? There are no urgent questions that need to be answered like the above two albums, I just sometimes like to see an album get torn to shreds. That being said, I'm just glad I'm not the one that would have to review it - 'cause then I'd have to listen to it all over again. Not cool.

#1: The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - Widely considered to be the greatest album of all time, this one seems like a natural choice for the #1 pick on this list. But there's more to it than that; namely that I have just never been able to get into The Beatles. Strange, I know, considering my adoration for indie pop, which is heavily influenced by the band. But still, it's just never done it for me. Sgt. Pepper's has some classic songs, and is without a doubt, the oddest CD that The Beatles ever put out. I have no intention of listening to it any time soon. But if Erin reviews it and gives it a score that's an 8 or higher, ok...I'll bite. Your play, Erin.