Moods - Weak

It's February 14th and we all know what that means. It's Valentine's Day. Super-market card aisles are flooded with people looking for just the right card, tables are hard to get at even the dingiest of eateries, and floral delivery men are working double and over time to get those deliveries out before the end of the day. I imagine there are a lot of women swooning right now, or will be later, and there are men who are feeling awfully obligated to show up with some sort of flower/candy/gift combo. I also imagine there are a lot of unhappy people out there; the lovelorn, the shy, the lonely, those of us who think Valentine's Day is just another day.

That's right. I'm a woman who doesn't really get all excited about Valentine's Day. "It's just another day" I always say. Don't get me wrong, I like hearts and lace and pink and candy and flowers just as much as the next girl. I like love well enough. It's got its ups and downs and weird turn of events I can sometimes do without, but I like it well enough. Being in love is nice, I'll be the first to admit. I'm just not the kind of girl who needs a specific, targeted day to be reminded that love is grand and someone is enamored with me. If it works correctly, I know pretty much all the time I'm very much loved and wanted.

I have other reasons for not liking Valentine's Day. It leaves me weak. It breaks down those protective barriers in my head and makes me think about things I'd rather not think about. It makes me weak and grumpy and thinking about all the people I've ever loved, who have loved me, who I wished had loved me, whom I wish I didn't love. Some good, some bad, it never fails, Valentine's Day rolls around and there they are, parading through my head.

Weak, as defined by Websters:

1. not strong; liable to yield, break, or collapse under pressure or strain; fragile; frail
2. lacking in bodily strength or healthy vigor, as from age or sickness; feeble; infirm
3. not having much political strength, governing power, or authority
4. lacking in rhetorical or creative force or effectiveness
5. lacking in logical or legal force or soundness
6. deficient in mental power, intelligence, or judgment
8. not having much moral strength or firmness, resolution, or force of character
9. deficient, lacking, or poor in something specified

So here it is, a mix I call It's Valentine's Day Everywhere But In My Heart, dedicated to the lovelorn, the obsessed stalkers, the men who are at this very moment caving and paying for a very expensive piece of jewelry, those who are too shy to ask someone out, those who want to end their relationships but won't because it would be cruel to do it on February 14th, the multitudes who will be engaging in a one-night stand at the end of their evenings, those who send themselves flowers and candy so that they don't look left out, and those of us who think about love in good, bad, and ugly ways on a day meant for celebration of how we feel. We're all weak in one or another, especially when it comes to love.